The self-interview started easily enough. Where and when was I born? Who was I born to? The beginning was like any other but it would get more complicated as time wore on.
The questions were getting harder. Where and when was I baptized? Did I source my dedication into the baptist church that my birth father had done, or did I source the baptism I received through the Catholic church before my adoption. Of course I would include my adoption, but did I make a family tree for my adoptive family or my birth family? Did I talk about all four sets of grandparents, or just the two sets that were integral to my upbringing? And never mind all the name changes I went through in thirty-one years of life. I had some choices to make and they were not easy ones.
After much soul searching and wondering. After many nights of prayers asking for guidance in how I should proceed I finally came to realize that which family I focused on would be determined by what my research goals were. Since my first and foremost goal was to connect my family to members on the Pequot and Mohegan tribes I knew that my biological family had to take precedence over the family that raised me.
I know that at some time in my life I will be ready to tackle the adoptive family lineage. But as long as I have separate DNA from the parents that I knew growing up I will focus my energy on the family that I didn't know. The family that has always been the white elephant in the room.
We have the same situation. I did my husband's adoptive family because those were the people he knew but when we finally found 7 of his 13 missing siblings, we started researching there. It has been a satisfying journey and still continues. Best wishes on banishing the white elephant. You might find the elephant is pink or has polka dots that will make it much more fun.
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